Archive for August, 2016

Monday, August 29, 2016

Friends on Facebook?

TamaraJonesBy Tamara Jones
ESL Instructor, Howard Community College
Columbia, Maryland
jonestamara@hotmail.com

There it was, in my local newspaper, The Baltimore Sun, nestled among accounts of shootings and police brutality, was an article I found so relevant to my professional context that I had to channel my mother and clip it out to take in to work. The title, Should you be Facebook Friends with Teacher?, really rang a bell with me.

I don’t have children, so I don’t need to worry about being friends with their teachers. I also don’t teach children anymore, so I don’t have to grapple with the question of friending the parents of my students. However, as a teacher of adults, I often get friend requests from my students. I also get friend requests from other teachers who are friends with their students. All these friend requests, while flattering, put me in an awkward position. I suspect I am not alone.

My Facebook Friends are my Friends

As Ciulac’s brief article in The Baltimore Sun pointed out, “Facebook is where I blow off steam to some of my dearest friends.” I am not in “teacher mode” when I am posting pictures of my husband renovating the bathroom or of my gorgeous new niece. The pictures I share on Facebook are personal, meant for friends and family who really know me. I have been known to post pictures of professional accomplishments, but Facebook gives me a chance to share my proud moments with my friends. It is not my resume. As one of the experts in Ciulac’s article argues, teachers “are entitled to a private life, as well as having their own embarrassing friends and family.”

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Thursday, August 25, 2016

I am Sorry, but Apologizing in English is Really Complicated

TamaraJonesBy Tamara Jones
ESL Instructor, Howard Community College
Columbia, Maryland
jonestamara@hotmail.com

Remember when you were a kid and after a fight with your brothers or sisters, your parents would make you apologize? Even though my sister and I are great friends now, when we were younger, we’d get into some terrible battles. I was older and wilier, so it was often my unkindness that was to blame. But, when we had to make up at my mother’s insistence, the “I’m sorry” I muttered could never have been mistaken for a genuine expression of contrition.

Finding the Words to Say Sorry

But, why was that? Isn’t it enough just to say the words, “I’m sorry” when we’ve done something harmful to another person? Well, it’s not quite that simple.

Let’s assume that we are talking about genuine apologies here, not my coerced childhood apologies to my sister. According to Trosborg (1987), the language we use for an apology depends on the severity of the complaint (e.g. bumping into a stranger on the street versus running over a neighbor’s pet) and the relationship between the apologizer and the apologizee (e.g. a woman in a yoga class versus a supervisor at work).

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Monday, August 15, 2016

Offers they CAN Refuse

TamaraJonesBy Tamara Jones
ESL Instructor, Howard Community College
Columbia, Maryland
jonestamara@hotmail.com

“How about lunch next week?”
“Are you interested in attending the training on Friday morning?”
“Are you free to get together tomorrow for coffee?”
“I’m having a party Saturday night at my house. Can you come?”

As an ESL instructor in North America, one of my most fervent hopes is that my students develop a social life that includes hanging out with other American students. I know from experience that cultivating relationships with proficient speakers is a great way to acquire language. When I lived in Russia many (many, many) years ago, it was my desire to communicate with my Russian friends that motivated me to navigate the complexities of Russian grammar, not the grades I received in in my language classes.

The Problem with Making Plans

However, making plans with proficient English speakers can be a process fraught with invisible pitfalls. As I described in previous blogs (The Art of Yes, But … and Can I Please Borrow your Car?), language learners not only need to know the grammar of the language they are using, they also need to know about the unconscious linguistic maneuvers speakers make when they are doing something in that language.

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